Ten Tips for Traditional Interactions with the Hmong

This was originally written by a white guy who had close interactions with the Hmong Cultural Center. It was passed on to me by the librarian at the HCC, Cher. The first five points deal with families, and the last five deal with people.

1. The traditional Hmong family is but one part of a wider network of extended families. Major decisions affecting Hmong families are rarely made along, or even by the head of the household individually. 
2. Many Hmong families highly value good service and hospitality. It is a sign of a good and wise host. Hmong families also highly regard guests and visitors who know their boundaries and clean up after themselves. 
3. Most traditional Hmong families do not enjoy hearing direct comments and compliments about their children, especially infants and babies. traditional Hmong believe that if a bad or jealous spirit hears such comments it might come and take the child's spirit away. 
4. When meeting a Hmong family to speak to them, one should always ask for the head of the household, which is usually the father. 
5. It may be considered quite embarrassing and rude when strangers assumingly speak of members of a Hmong family as husband and wife. If one does not know the family or the relationships between family members, one should ask. 
6. When you are talking to a Hmong persona, he or she may not look directly at you, or give eye contact. The person you are speaking to may look down or away from you. Traditionally, looking directly into the face of a Hmong person or making direct eye contact is considered to be rude and inappropriate. 
7. Hmong people may tend to be overly humble, not wishing to show or express their true emotions in front of others. Often they will say "maybe" or "I will try" instead of giving a definite positive or negative reply. Sometimes they might say "okay" or "yes" which may actually mean "no" in situations when they feel pressured. 
8. Hmong who practice traditional Hmong beliefs may wear unusual accessories such as red necklaces made with silver and brass, white cloth around their wrists, and read or white strings on their wrists and ankles. These accessories are worn for health or religious purposes. 
9. Most traditional Hmong men take on an adult name after they have been married and had their first child. The adult name is added to the first name--and most Hmong men prefer to be called by their adult name. 
10. Traditional Hmong usually do not shake hands with women, and many traditional Hmong women feel embarrassed shaking the hands of a male. Persons should greet each other verbally.